My sissy needs

Hi,
I made this blog to help me to come to terms with my sissy side.
I don't know what else to say about me other than I think I have always known I was a sissy deep down inside.  It is now only that it is showing its self.

I often fantasize about ending up in the situation where I am forced to dress at the demands of a dominant man. Then after I am dressed he treats me like an object.  He admires me and sexually I turn him on.

The part of the whole fantasy that usually gets me really going is in the idea of that man then fucking me but fucking me with the sole purpose of leaving his cum in my hole.  The idea that I am there to take his cum and attention.  

It even turns on me to think about putting panties back on after I have been used and then feeling his cum leak out into my panties.   The wet feeling, once it cools, reminding me over and over again why it is wet, what I did to make that wet feeling happen, a tribute to what happened to make what is leaking out of me to leak out of me, and a later reminder when I am cleaning those panties later.

I have many screwed up fantasies.  Any one of them I would actually pay to make happen in real life but alas it would have to be under a situation where I would feel safe.